We offer the cast of “Glee” some new Direction (pun intended) for this season’s musical numbers.
The anticipation is boiling over for the season premiere of Glee tonight, and fans are Gleek-ing out. we already know there’s going to be an all-Madonna episode, and that the cast will be performing some Lady Gaga. but even though I’m a die-hard Glee fan, I have to agree just a tiny bit with an article in The new York Times this weekend which argued that sometimes the songs are too much flash and not enough substance*. That’s why today’s list is dedicated to our picks for the songs we’d like to see the cast sing this season. all of these songs have been carefully chosen with character development, plot advancement and, okay, maximum entertainment value in mind.
Brittany and Santana: It’s about time the glee club Cheerios! (who are not Quinn) got some respect. Sure, they’re backstabbing moles planted in new Directions by Sue Sylvester, and sure, Brittany is so stupid it actually borders on sad. Nevertheless, these two have grown into fully developed characters by the start of season 2, which is why they deserve their own breakout number: The Ting Tings’ “That’s not my Name” — you know, so we can differentiate them.
Puck: Noah Puckerman, the best Jewish bad boy in modern-day television history (love it), doesn’t intentionally hurt the feelings of people he loves. it just kind of … happens. That’s why he needs the perfect metaphorical song about picking up the pieces of a broken relationship that he can sing while looking oh-so-sexy with his guitar: “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers.
Finn: Finn had a rough first semester (or is it marking periods in high school? It’s been a while…). His best friend got his girlfriend pregnant; he had some trouble with, uh, “arriving early;” he faced the classic music-or-sports dilemma (well, it’s become a classic dilemma thanks to High School Musical) and now, well, he can’t seem to keep the attention of the girl he likes. It’s time for Finn to croon one of my favorite Motown classics: “The Tracks of my Tears” by the Miracles.
Rachel: Say what you want about the Swedish pop group from the seventies, but is there a song whose lyrics better capture the essence of Lea Michele’s character on Glee better than “The Winner Takes it All” by ABBA? I don’t think so. Maybe to give it a bit of layered irony, it could be done in a mash-up with MGMT’s “Congratulations.”
Quinn: This one’s insider-y! Quinn should perform a medley of songs from Spring Awakening — the Broadway show that first put Lea Michele on the map. Michele’s character in the show, Wendla, also gets pregnant as a young teenager in 19th century Germany and is forced to deal with similar repercussions that Quinn faces in present-day Ohio. Quinn’s medley will include “Whispering,” “Mama who Bore Me,” and “Blue Wind.”
Mercedes: Mercedes had some truly dynamite vocal moments last season with “Bust Ya Windows” and Dreamgirls‘ “And I’m Tellin’ You,” but neither of those songs really allowed her to go anywhere in terms of a storyline. That’s why I’m giving her a mash-up of “Out Tonight” from Rent and Fergie’s “Get Ready” to signal exactly that. Mercedes is both a vocal force and a character to be reckoned with in season 2.
Artie: Artie’s got a deep, soulful baritone and can pull off teen angst well — probably because he’s faced actual hardship. even though the gang already rocked out to the Rolling Stones at Sectionals, Artie should definitely take on the more fast-paced and emotional “Paint it Black.”
Kurt: although he can be a bit of a vixen at times, Kurt really is the emotional center of the group. he counseled Finn through his dinner with Quinn’s parents, and helped an entire football team get in touch with their inner “Single Ladies.” Kurt’s getting a love note for the entire club that gives him the perfect chance to show off his falsetto singing skills and pay homage to the original high-voiced crooner himself, Frankie Valli: “Who loves You” by the four Seasons (the Jersey Boys version, yes, I’m specific).
Mr. Schuester: Once Will finally gets his life sorted out, he will croon Gabriel Mann’s “When we Are One” to Emma and it will be the television equivalent of Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling kissing in the rain in The Notebook. just give the song a listen and you’ll see what I mean.
Emma: She sang a bit in Season 1, right? even if she didn’t, Jayma Mays has the perfect doe-eyed look to pull off a Zooey Deschanel song. No matter what happens between her and Mr. Schue, they have to come together for one performance of She & Him’s “Sweet Darlin’.”
Regionals: So what should new Directions perform at Regionals? this is a tough one. We’ve seen Vocal Adrenaline (they’re biggest rivals), do everything from Amy Winehouse to Duffy (wait a second, what’s with all the soulful British pop singers?) to, well I don’t want to give away their number in the season premiere tonight, but it involves pyrotechnics and ’80s metal. So who really knows what the judges want.
New Directions could go a few different routes at Regionals. They could go classic Broadway, with Rachel singing “Suddenly Seymour” from Little Shop of Horrors for the required ballad and the group numbers being “Master of the House” from Les Miserables and “Rent” from Rent.
Or, they could mix and match their Broadway numbers with some more modern fare. Now don’t mock me, but I think only a glee club could properly camp up a mash-up of nineties hits like Ace of Base’s “The Sign” and well, anything by the Backstreet Boys (although I’m partial to “Show Me the Meaning of being Lonely”). Trust me, it would look dynamite onstage with the right choreography, costumes and lighting. Stop laughing!**
*But, Times, I went to a charity screening of the season premiere last week, and it was highly entertaining in a way that made me completely forgive the auto-tuned version of “Hello” by the Doors. Almost.
**Glee music directors, I am available for music consultations.
Photo courtesy of FOX.com/Glee.