marriage

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) — Country music legend Loretta Lynn is three years older than she has led people to believe, an age change that undermines the story she told of being married at 13 in “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” documents obtained by the associated Press show.

Lynn’s birth certificate on file at the state Office of Vital Statistics in Frankfort, Ky., shows that Loretta Webb was born on April 14, 1932, in Johnson County, Kentucky. that makes her 80 years old, not 77. Also on file is her marriage license and two affidavits from her mother, Clara Marie Ramey, and S.W. Ward Jr., who was not related to the family, listing the same birthdate.

The records weren’t filed until 1965, which meant that Lynn needed multiple documents to prove her age at that time. Lynn’s signature appears on the document as Loretta Webb Lynn.

Melvin Webb lists his daughter “Loretta” as 7 years old for the 1940 Census, according to a digital copy on file at the Kentucky Historical Society. Lynn’s marriage license, obtained by the AP from the Johnson County (Tenn.) clerk’s office lists her as 15 on Jan. 10, 1948.

In “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” the autobiography that became an Academy Award-winning film, Lynn told a different story – that she was married at 13 and was a mother of four by 18. Most books and public references to Lynn list her current age as 77.

When contacted by the AP, Lynn’s spokeswoman, Nancy Russell of Nashville, Tenn., declined comment. she said that Lynn has told her before in no uncertain terms, “If anyone asks how old I am, tell them it’s none of their business!”

Lynn’s younger brother, Herman Webb, declined to disclose Lynn’s age, although he said there might have been a “mix-up” with Lynn’s paperwork after she moved to Nashville to launch her country career. her parents and many other relatives are dead, including her husband, O.V. “Mooney” Lynn.

Certainly Lynn isn’t the first celebrity of a certain age to be less than forthcoming about a birthday, but the discrepancy is significant because age isn’t just a number for the Country Music Hall of Fame member. It is woven into her compelling life story, made famous in her 1976 bestselling autobiography, “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” and the subsequent film starring Sissy Spacek. the movie made $67 million nationwide and was nominated for seven Oscars; Spacek won for her portrayal of Lynn.

The Grammy-winning singer recently announced that it will become a Broadway musical, starring actress and singer Zooey Deschanel.

The way Lynn chose to tell it in the book, she was married at 13, moved with her husband to Washington State at 16 and was a mother of four by 18. Lynn has six kids in all. the marriage certificate shows that Lynn instead married just shy of her 16th birthday, which was not unusual in Kentucky at that time. her husband was 21.

It would have been illegal for a girl under the age of 14 to marry in Kentucky in 1948, said R. Eric Henninger of the Kentucky State Law Library. at that time, he said, “lots of folks didn’t have any sort of official proof of age.”

The AP discovered the discrepancy in Lynn’s age after a reporter found Lynn’s Kentucky birth certificate online and changed her birthdate in the news agency’s database of celebrity birthdays. the Country Music Hall of Fame contacted the AP after that to clear up the issue.

Lynn addresses the perils of disclosing her age in her autobiography.

“When I was born, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was the president for several years. That’s the closest I’m gonna come to telling my age in this book, so don’t go looking for it,” she writes. “I’m trying to make a living singing songs. I don’t need nobody out there saying, `She don’t look bad considering she’s such-and-such years old.”‘

Lynn’s co-author on “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” New York Times sports columnist George Vecsey, said in a phone interview that he did not verify the age claims in the book with official documentation.

“It’s her book, and I never saw a birth certificate, marriage license. It’s what they told me,” he said. “I couldn’t say that she was the one who told me first. between her manager (David Skepner) who has passed and her husband who has now passed, it was at least three different people telling me that.”

Vecsey said he did not want to speculate on what the age difference means to Lynn’s narrative.

Lynn’s daughter, Patsy Lynn Russell, did not respond to emailed requests for comment.

Webb, her brother who lives in their hometown of Van Lear, Ky., believes “there might have been a mix–up somewhere along the line” when Lynn first arrived in Nashville and signed with the Wilburn Brothers.

“When she was with Teddy and Doyle (Wilburn), she just don’t tell her age after that,” he said. “I think they got some of her paperwork messed up.”

Webb declined to comment on Lynn’s age. when asked his own birthday, like a good brother, he replied: “I was born a year and a half after she was.”

Research supervisor Walter Bowman at the Kentucky Department for Libraries and Archives said in the early `30s it was more common for people to register their prized horses or livestock than the births of their children.

Not until the Social Security system was founded in the mid-1930s did parents have a monetary reason to put their kids on record.

Social Security Administration officials said privacy laws prevent them from releasing information about any living person, including a birth date.

Music journalist and author Robert K. Oermann, who wrote “Finding her Voice” about women in country music, said nothing can overshadow Lynn’s accomplishments.

“In the 1960s, you didn’t have the 24-hour news cycle, saturation of personality journalism that you have today. So what appealed to people was the fact that the songs were so extraordinary. her singing was so great. Everything about her was so refreshing and country,” he said.

“It wasn’t until much later that people became aware of her backstory, but the music itself is what made her a star. the biography, the life story was just the icing on the cake.”

In 1972, Lynn became the first woman to be named entertainer of the year by the Country Music Association. she is known for hits, including “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” “You Ain’t Woman enough,” “The Pill,” “Rated X,” and “Don’t Come Home A’ Drinkin’ (With Lovin’ on Your Mind).” her last top 10 record as a soloist was “I Lie” in 1982.

Loretta Lynn Married at 15, Not 13; 80-Years-Old Not 77

Update, May 16, 12:45 PM: Pacquiao has since clarified that the statements were misattributed. "I didn't say that, that's a lie I didn't know that quote from Leviticus because I haven't read the Book of Leviticus yet." Manny Pacquiao: not a big fan

Boxing champion Manny Pacquiao is criticizing President Barack Obama's personal endorsement of same-sex marriage, calling it offensive to God.

Tom Gabel, the singer for Florida punk rock group against me!, has come out as transgender, and plans to begin living as a woman under the name Laura Jane Grace.

According to Rolling Stone, the punk singer is set to begin the process of living as a woman via hormones and electrolysis treatments. Gabel will continue her marriage to wife Heather Gabel.

“For me, the most terrifying thing about this was how she would accept the news,” Gabel said of her wife. “But she’s been super-amazing and understanding.”

20 Great LGBT Moments in Music

While gender-bending imagery has informed musicians from Bowie to Gaga, Gabel’s transition will mark the arrival of what the magazine dubs rock’s first “major” transgender figure — a responsibility she doesn’t take lightly.

“I’m going to have embarrassing moments and that won’t be fun,” Gabel said. “But that’s part of what talking to you is about – is hoping people will understand, and hoping they’ll be fairly kind.”

Video: against me!, “Thrash Unreal”

The singer says that she has dealt with gender dysphoria privately for years. on “The Ocean,” the closing track on against me!’s 2007 major label debut “New Wave,” Gabel sings, “If I could have chosen, I would have been born a woman/ My mother once told me she would have named me Laura, I’d grow up to be strong and beautiful like her.”

Along with “New Wave,” against me! released its fifth album, 2010′s “White Crosses,” on Sire Records. Gabel, a native of St. Augustine, Fla., founded the group in 1997 at the age of 17.

Against Me! Singer Tom Gabel: I’m Transgender

I love Devil’s Eye, the beautiful and extensive cave located in North Florida. Yet after diving it virtually every weekday for months on end and inspecting what seems like every inch of its gorgeous self, one day it struck me – this must be what being married is like. It’s still good every time you do it. but you always know what you are going to get. Then the floods came and I was in for a wild ride; the marriage equivalent of coming home and finding your partner in a kinky outfit and ready to go, I suppose.

The floods quickly turned the visibility to crap and hardly anyone was diving. while most saw doom and gloom, I saw an opportunity. I could turn my attention to the one tunnel I hadn’t seen yet, the tunnel that led to the new section.

Back in 2007 Marius Frei did the impossible and found new passage in what is probably the most dived cave in the world. It was a wicked effort in anybody’s language. Marius laid well in excess of a 300m (1000ft) of line and the cave was still going unfortunately early in 2008 a diver followed in his footsteps that led to a fatality, leaving a sour taste in the mouth of the cave diving community in FL. there was a very negative vibe towards the new section from the cave diving community and everyone assumed that simply going back there would not only totally blow the visibility in the cave and ruin diving for everyone but it was also a somewhat suicidal mission. It’s true to say that there has been a lot of misinformation, myth and mysticism surrounding the new section. I’m not here to set the record straight, instead I want to share my experiences back there.

For my very first dive I scootered to 900m (3000ft), swam up to the end of the gold line, and made my way into the mysterious tunnel. The flow was virtually nonexistent because of the floods, which made diving in this area incredibly pleasant, kind of like diving Peacock. I got to the restriction and thought really? this is the infamous restriction? I unclipped one of my tanks and gingerly popped through to the other side. to my great surprise it was not at all hazardous, or particularly tight for that matter. The remainder of the passage was a most reasonable size and even had some decent sized dome rooms. I was super excited as one gorgeous dome room after another appeared in front of me. I spent ages stopping, staring, looking, absorbing. admiring cave that less than a handful of people have ever laid eyes on. Unspoiled, untouched and beautiful cave revealed itself in front of me. I hit thirds around the 1333m (4400ft) mark and headed back with a renewed passion for all things Ginnie. It was like falling in love all over again.

I spent a few weeks diving there regularly, looking around, enjoying the cave and doing progressively longer dives. meanwhile the visibility and the flow began to slowly return back to normal. one day as I was completing one of my regular ventures there, I couldn’t help but notice a conga line of tanks leading all the way through to the new passage. and finally to a new cookie. I wondered who else was going back there. and what they were up to. Luckily I didn’t have to chew on this for too long, as Andrew Ainslie gave himself away on the boards the very next day. We got in touch and figured out who the mysterious Saber who laid line all over the place back there was (James Toland). thus began a flow of communication that solved many of the questions I had in regards to who did what and when. Andrew added more line, surveyed, and to his great surprise, found himself at 46m (151ft) depth. 46m (151ft) in Devil’s Eye – it seemed surreal. the rest of the cave doesn’t drop much past 30m (100ft).

Armed with this knowledge planning my next dive was that much easier, so I mixed it up and continued my own little exploration. Along the way I had the pleasure of seeing what is, without being too melodramatic, some of the prettiest cave I have ever seen. Then suddenly and unexpectedly I found myself at the end of the line. with a bunch of gas. and thought, now what do I do? The 125-foot spool (38m) was the longest bit of line I had. As one of my friends put it ‘only you Ag, only you would do that dive without a reel.’

Yet, there I was and the Pits of Mordor were beckoning. The Pit to the right was the obvious way forward. I peeked in and it definitely went. I decided not to tease myself, with no line to actually go exploring, so I dropped into the other Pit. The Pit dropped to 50m (165ft), the flow disappeared, and the whole thing was low, flat and filled with silt up to the ears. I have affectionately dubbed it the Mud Bath. while I won’t bet my life that it doesn’t go, I don’t reckon it does. Although to find out for sure, I would need a much longer leash. at the end of my splash, I took out the spool; no point leaving scraps of line around and headed for home.

Finally while relaxing on deco I had an after-thought – I just got to see my first virgin cave ever I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a kick out of this, not to mention the warm fluffy after-glow that goes along with the deflowering of virgins. Yet the after-glow was typically fleeting, and the cave had only revealed as much as a typical two dollar peep show. I am under no illusions; in the scheme of things my little sojourn 30m (100ft) into new passage means absolutely nothing. It is not a cure for cancer. It’s not even a footnote to the exploration that has been done and is being done around cave country FL, not to mention the world.

Yet the exploration of this cave does matter and it does mean something in the larger scheme of things. Cave exploration is not just about divers seeing pretty new cave or spooling out line into unchartered territory. at the very heart of exploration is the thirst for knowledge, knowledge that in the hands of the right people can be ammunition in the battle for environmental conservation. there are so many examples in Florida alone of physical connections made between springs by divers, which lead to conservation efforts and real changes in peoples and organizations attitudes to and actions towards the aquifer. clearly the Devil’s Eye Cave System does not stop at the end of the gold line. Tracing the source of the water could have a significant impact on how the land in this area is treated by everybody. Exploration should not be a dirty word; it should be applauded, facilitated and recognized appropriately. clearly the mysteries of this cave are yet to be fully revealed.

Going past the restriction is not a dive for everyone, the same way a 3km (10000ft) push into Manatee or hitting the end of the gold line in Jackson Blue is not for everyone. But the cave is there, it has been pushed and it has been lined, and where’s there’s cave there will be eager and curious divers.

So if you are one of the curious divers and can’t sleep knowing that beautiful, unspoiled cave is just a hop, skip and a jump away from the beaten path and you happen to be in Florida, do us all a favor and take it easy in there. Keep your own limitations in mind and don’t over reach. Don’t plan a quadruple stage dive to begin with; enjoy what this new section has to offer and better yet take the time to enjoy the ‘old’ cave first. Make sure your sidemouning is squared away, you are comfortable negotiating restrictions, dealing with potentially bad visibility, tons of deco and that you plan your gas accordingly. if you are going back there, remember, it is largely pristine and unspoiled cave, so keep your wits about ya.

While my pics are from the white section past Narnia’s Gate, I don’t mean to be biased towards it, as the black section is equally incredible and mind blowing. my little camera and 24W light however, are no match for the black veneer walls of Devil’s. one of my favorite memories is being sucked down the siphon tunnel into black nothingness. Imagine being in this huge black tunnel, I mean jet black, and being slowly sucked into what feels like a black void – it was the most surreal and memorable experience. I’d hate for others to miss out on this in the future, so if you are back there stay off the perfectly black walls, pretty please with a cherry on top. otherwise – have fun and enjoy

This ancient holiday celebrated the explosion of passion that drives life forward. Spring is a promise; Beltane is delivery on that promise. This is the time to release the limitations you have placed on how astounding a life lived in love can really be. People are quick to tell you how the leaps and flames of passion are not a constant in marriage. But we can be so puritanical about passion. I would be a rich woman if I had collected money from the folks who told me that passion was not a fit topic for a wedding ceremony (particularly a religious wedding ceremony. Hello? have you read the Song of Songs? if not, go buy the wonderful translation by Marcia Falk.) here is a general overview of this (pagan?) season. (And remember, each season is the six weeks following the holiday.)

Beltane: Passion — may 1:

Historically, Northern European farmers lit fires to burn off the winter stubble covering the fields and make them ready for the plowing and planting. In agricultural communities physical expressions of love between a couple, yes, sex, was used to remind the Earth to get busy Passion is one of the richest gifts that love gives us and we have a huge responsibility (often ignored) to keep it alive in our marriages

Anyone who thinks passion cannot last never knew my parents. For the past 5 years, my mother has struggled with deepening Alzheimer’s, which has made her awareness of reality sketchy at best. But what was always real was her response to her Sammy. I would always work to find ways for their aging bodies to get close, to touch and to kiss. if you asked Mommy if she wanted to kiss Daddy, her face would light up and she would go through all sorts of contortions so that they could smooch a bit. And when they did, time stood still at the nursing home while everyone stopped to watch and wonder. I have a picture of them kissing good bye an hour before Daddy died and, if you saw it, you would never wonder if people still love one another in the same way after 64 years of marriage.

Symbols for Beltane to use in your wedding?

o Fire. Candles everywhere. Or an actual fire.

o Burning. In Scandinavia this holiday is still celebrated. Black clothes (winter) are sometimes removed and burnt to reveal white clothes (warmth) within. That may be too dramatic, but you might want to burn a strip of black cloth and put on a red ribbon. Or burn a list of your inhibitions.

o Lilies of the Valley. these potent smelling flowers are a may Day symbol in many Northern European countries. They cover the ground in wild profusion and last but a short time. But enjoy — they are there to be enjoyed

Your Wedding Ceremony – Celebrating Beltane (and Passion) in Your Wedding Ceremony

A Grieving John Edwards?

by on April 25, 2012

With the passing of Elizabeth Edwards last week, a part of me has little sympathy for John Edwards. After all he cheated on her when she needed him most. They were on the verge of divorce. He fathered a child with another woman. Hard to have sympathy for that, and yet.

Of all her close survivors, I expect John Edwards will have the hardest time of all. yes the kids are without a mother, and they are so very young. Having already grieved a sibling with seeming grace, Cate will probably be a support and role model for the younger ones, and that will help.

The real difference, however, is that the kids probably aren’t carrying around a bag full of guilt, remorse and self loathing. yes, I’m projecting a bit here, but I don’t think John Edwards is without feeling or so self-centered, despite his behavior, that he feels justified in the damage he caused his wife, himself, and their marriage.

Maybe she forgave him in the end. For his sake and hers, I hope so. That he was there says something, but even if she did forgive him, John Edwards is going to grieve, and grieve hard.

It’s always the loss of the most difficult relationships that create the hardest bereavements. Being a snake of a husband made for an impossible marriage and will make for an equally difficult bereavement.

From all reports, they had a deep, deep bond. I suspect his dependence on her and his terror about losing her, actually led to the affair. so you combine the love, the bond and the betrayal, and you have the set up for a very messy grieving process.

He’s not just grieving the actual loss of Elizabeth. He’s grieving the loss of a marriage he can no longer redeem. He’s grieving his own behavior, and I expect he is struggling to forgive himself.

When we’re grieving, everything about the relationship gets tangled up in the grief. yes, we grieve for what we had and lost, but that’s only part of the story.

We also grieve for the relationship we wanted and never had. We grieve for the relationship we had but didn’t want. We grieve out of anger and guilt. We grieve over what we said or didn’t say. We seek self forgiveness that somehow eludes us, and we seek the even more elusive forgiveness of the person who has died.

You and I have no way of knowing what transpired between John and Elizabeth during those last few days and months. We can hope that both found some measure of peace and forgiveness, but we’ll never know for sure, nor should we. Some things are meant to be private.

A Grieving John Edwards?

SANFORD (CBSMiami) – Film director Spike Lee has tweeted an apology to a Sanford couple who hasn’t been able to return to their home after he re-tweeted their address as that of George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watch captain who shot and killed 17-year old Trayvon Martin.

In his retweet to his 240,000 followers, Lee passed along the address of Elaine and David McClain. Since the tweet, the McClains said they’ve received death threats and hate mail. in his apology, Lee asked everyone to leave the McClains alone.

“We definitely accept the apology. We just don’t want this to happen to anybody else. the social media has no accountability to anybody. They can put anything on there and they don’t care. They don’t care how it affects other people’s lives,” said Elaine McClain.

Elaine’s son from a previous marriage goes by the name “William” George Zimmerman.

Lee could be in trouble for his re-tweet for violating Twitter’s content boundaries because he published someone else’s private information, the McClain’s address, without their permission.

Spike Lee Apologizes To Couple For Re-Tweeting Wrong Address

All they Want is a good Show

That The Hunger Games is so timely and intelligent is precisely the reason why it’s also so frightening. it depicts a time and place in which the failures of mass society are exploited for the entertainment of the privileged few. In this case, it’s in the form of an annual competition to the death, one that’s captured via hidden cameras and aired for the rest of the world to see. whatever they call it in this alternate reality, it would be called reality TV in ours. Thank God, we have not devolved to the point of watching people kill each other. We have, however, sunk to some pretty low depths. We celebrate people like Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay, who achieve notoriety by being bullies. We watch as groups of men or women vie for a marriage proposal from a woman or man they know nothing about. We witness Kim Kardashian earn millions for doing nothing, apart from looking beautiful.

Adapted from the novel by Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games is set in an unspecified future time, at which point a new nation has developed from the wreckage of North America. This nation is presided over by the Capitol, where the rich and powerful flaunt themselves with highly advanced technologies and outlandish fashion choices. the rest of the nation is divided into twelve districts, where the people live in squalor and are essentially slave labor for their respective natural resources. An unsuccessful uprising seventy years ago resulted in the destruction of a thirteenth district. as punishment, one boy and girl from each district, both between the ages of twelve and eighteen, is chosen by raffle each year to participate in the Hunger Games, a competition in which the contestants fight each other in a forested arena. the winner is the one still alive at the end.

In District 12, we meet sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), a skilled archer and hunter who has cared for her little sister, Primrose (Willow Shields), and her mother (Paula Malcomson) since the death of their father some years earlier. When representatives of the Capitol come to town, Primrose is selected as the female contestant – or tribute, as they’re known in this alternate reality. Katniss, desperate to save her sister, volunteers to take her place. the male tribute is Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson), who harbors a crush on Katniss and once showed her an act of kindness. They’re both escorted to the Capitol by the preening, clown-faced Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks), where, before the games begin, they’re shown luxury the likes of which they’ve never seen.

Along with a good deal of physical training, Katniss and Peeta are given a personal stylist named Cinna (Lenny Kravitz) and an advisor named Haymitch (Woody Harrelson), a disheartened drunk. they make it clear that survival depends in large part on personality; the more hearts they win over, the more likely they are to receive food and aid from sponsors. they also stress that all the people want is a good show. Indeed, all tributes are paraded in the town square to cheering throngs of thousands. They’re even greeted by the President (Donald Sutherland), who secretly knows that the real reason the Hunger Games exist at all is the give District viewers the illusion of hope. all tributes are dolled up and flaunted on a flashy reality show hosted by the flamboyant Caesar Flickerman (Stanley Tucci), whose white teeth gleam along with his sequined jacket.

Once the tributes are physically lifted into the arena, the story abandons hype and celebrity in favor of a brutal, desperate battle for survival, one that’s highly disturbing but no less compelling. although director Gary Ross doesn’t shy away from depicting the deaths of young people, he refrains from being gratuitous, and for that, he deserves a great deal of credit. This is not about tasteless gore effects and the exploitation of faceless teens; we’re actually made to care about these characters so that, when they die, it elicits a genuine emotional reaction. It’s not easy to watch, but then again, it isn’t supposed to be. Imagine what it must be like for the District populations. They’re forced to watch as someone’s son, daughter, brother, or sister is murdered as a form of mass entertainment.

Katniss and Peeta are enamoring characters, mostly because they learn to survive without sacrificing their humanity. with Katniss, we see this through her bond another tribute, a twelve-year-old girl named Rue (Amandla Stenberg). with Peeta, we see this through his growing affection for Katniss. It’s precisely because of them that the people behind the scenes devise a number of rating-boosting strategies, including a last-minute rule change I will not give away. I suppose one could consider The Hunger Games an enjoyable movie, although I believe it’s intended to be something more than that. it tells a story that’s so deeply troubling and yet so remarkably insightful. it makes some valid points, not just on the state of what passes for entertainment nowadays, but also on society, politics, and the capacity for hope in dark times.

An Interfaith Ketubah Awakening

by on March 10, 2012

You are lying awake at 2AM. three hours ago, you asked your girlfriend to marry you. she said yes, but there is still a problem. she is Jewish and you are not. she is insisting on having an interfaith wedding with, as they say at the local Jewish deli, all the works – an interfaith ketubah with an interfaith text, Rabbi as an officiant, etc. This article will help both of you through this potentially arduous process and probably keep you both out of deep weeds.

Leading off is the selection of an interfaith ketubah design. First, let me just say here that there is no official interfaith ketubah. There’s just no such thing. the term simply means a ketubah (or jewish marriage contract) that has a design and a text that is geared toward an interfaith couple.

So, starting off with choosing the design, there are two key points to consider:

(1) she (the Jewish one) probably shouldn’t rock the boat too much by selecting an interfaith ketubah design that possesses too much (or any) Jewish symbolism. For example, you may want to avoid ketubot that depict the Star of David or Jewish scripture. There are many interfaith ketubahs on the market that are simply beautiful works of art with no religious symbolism.
(2) you (the non-Jewish one) have to be tolerant and wholly participate in the selection process. you both will probably be staring at this work of art for the next 50 (at least) years on your wall so my suggestion is to pick out a design that will make both of you happy.

Batting second is the choosing of a text that becomes incorporated into the design. Like the ketubah selection, there are two key points to be addressed:

(1) It is not appropriate to select any text that is in Aramaic (unless you are Mel Gibson). Aramaic texts are primarily for Conservative or Orthodox Jews. Reform text might feed the bulldog, however, you both are better off with a non-denominational interfaith text.
(2) Beware of texts that might offend. For example, texts with references to Moses, Sarah, Abraham, Israel, etc. should be avoided. Interfaith texts that contain such Jewish oriented phrases such as home be built on Torah. or traditional Jewish spirit should be jettisoned or tossed out the nearest air-lock. An interfaith ketubah text, like most traditional ketubah texts, typically contains two portions: one in English and one in Hebrew (the Hebrew is a direct translation of the English). a ketubah with both English and Hebrew will probably not cause any difficulties, however, if it does you can always select an English-only text or choose to write your own vows for a completely customized interfaith text.

Next up: the officiant vs. interfaith text. If a Rabbi or Cantor will be officiating at your ceremony, it is a good idea to have him or her approve the text. Although an interfaith ketubah is not a legal document according to Jewish law (unlike an Orthodox or Conservative ketubah), some officiants still have strict policies about what kind of text they will (or will not) allow on an interfaith ketubah. Remember officiants are all different, and since your officiant is the final authority on what is permitted at your wedding, you definitely want to know ahead of time if your text selection will be permitted.

Finally — Batting clean-up: Personalizing your interfaith text. once you have selected your ketubah design and have chosen or composed your ketubah text, the next task is personalizing the text, i.e., filling in the blanks within the chosen text with the names, dates, location, etc. If the Jewish partner has a Hebrew name, it is customary to use it on the ketubah, in conjunction with the parents’ Hebrew names. Then comes the tricky part: the single most often interfaith text question that is asked surfaces: My fiance is not Jewish; how do we handle the Hebrew names for him and his parents? There are two possible answers to this question:

(1) Omit the non-Jewish people from the text or,
(2) My personal preference, allow the names to be transliterated (i.e., put their names phonetically into Hebrew). Relax, no one is getting a Hebrew name here – Jewish people know for sure that one has to go through hoops to get a Hebrew name – it is simply putting the name into Hebrew letters (like spelling an Israeli name in English letters). This process ensures that all people within both texts have been included therefore resulting in a balanced ketubah. I would not recommend making up a Hebrew name for the non-Jewish partner for the same reason mentioned above and it is likely that most officiants will not approve.

So next time when you are lying awake at 2AM and your sweetheart has given you the proverbial Marv Alpert’s ‘Yes’ to the kneeling down and groveling question, but as a condition wants a Jewish-oriented ceremony, re-read this article and roll over and go back to sleep. you are going to certainly need your rest for the most important event in your life time.

An Interfaith Ketubah Awakening

The chequered personal life of actor Dennis Quaid has taken another dip for the worse as it’s been reported that his current wife KIMBERLY BUFFINGTON-QUAID has filed for divorce after almost eight years of marriage together. TMZ has reported that a divorce petition explains “The marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities … that destroys the legitimate ends of the marriage relationship and prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation.” Kimberly is asking for spousal support and attorney’s fees.

As yet there are currently only temporary orders in place on the pair which allows them to spend time with their children; the pair have twins together, whilst Dennis also has an additional son. The kids won’t be allowed to be taken out of state or removed from school without an agreement on both side or by judge decision. in addition, Buffington maintains possession of their main residence as well as their Mercedes whilst Quaid get their Cadillac Escalade and condo; strangely they share the Range Rover. The temporary order only lasts for the forthcoming weekend though it’s expected to be extended upon expiry.

The crux of the issue comes with what each party wants to get out of the divorce settlement. Buffington wants their assets to be divided equally, however Quaid doesn’t want her to get anything which can only mean that there’s going to be a somewhat bitter battle ahead.

It’s the latest in what’s been a decidedly hit and miss love life for Quaid; this is the end of his third marriage. As his profile rose in the 80s, with roles in ‘Jaws 3-D’ and ‘The big Easy’ among others, so did rumours about his drugs use – something he’s only really come out about in recent years. He first married the actress P.J SCHOLES in 1978 only to divorce from her in 1983. a decade later and he was married to Meg Ryan, who at the time was one of the highest profile female actresses in Hollywood following the classic 1989 film ‘When Harry Met Sally.’ The pair married in 1991 and divorced ten years later with Ryan bringing to light the fact that Quaid hadn’t stayed faithful to her.

Despite all this however his career seemed to be on the up again following a fallow period in the late 80s and early 90s which many attribute to his substance abuse. a well-received role in 2000′s ‘Frequency’ precluded a hugely successful performance in the 2002 film ‘Far from Heaven’ and led to a blockbuster role in the apocalyptic flick ‘The Day after Tomorrow.’ Marrying Buffington in 2004 he seemed fully back on track and the couple had twins in 2007. Disaster almost struck though after doctors administered the newborns with a massive overdose of the drug Heparin – a drug to work against blood clotting – just 10 days after they were born and Quaid subsequently filed a lawsuit against drug manufacturer Baxter Healthcare for not marking the differences between the dosages of Heparin clearly enough.

Having gone through all of that together, the couple seemed strong but the marriage has evidently eroded, something that sadly could’ve been predicted given Quaid’s past luck. One hopes that the reason for the split will turn out to be an amicable one.

Dennis Quaid’s Third Wife Files For Divorce; Another Episode In The Actor’s Chequered Private Life